Here, in Cleveland, OH, a new morning is upon us. The sun is shining through my window, while my morning meditation video plays it’s beautiful song. The shadows of outside trees dance on my walls, and the stream peacefully flows in it’s endless glory. Mornings are my favorite part of the day. New starts are restored hope and fresh starts. I hope you feel the positive vibes repelling from your surroundings, and that you soak in its magic for even a brief moment. You deserve that peace of mind and feeling of contentment.
I’m so thankful when I come across tips that make life more pleasurable by reducing anxiety =) This list below has started my Tuesday with such positivity and encouragement 🌸
We live in a quick-fix kind of world, complete with one-minute meals and instant ab workouts. It’s nearly impossible to find the time to sit down and contemplate permanent ways to be happier. We’re in luck, then, because there are lots of little tric…
— Read on www.bustle.com/articles/108208-11-hacks-scientifically-proven-to-make-you-feel-instantly-happy
Life is such a rollercoaster. It’s even more so when you’re hormonal, sleep deprived, an Empath, and HSP. Right now, I feel so much that I feel like I’m going crazy. My sadness outweighs everything else, and I don’t want to be anywhere but home… Where it’s safe.
In this case, safe would be where I am free from judgment, hurt, emotional pain, strain on my heart because of imperfect humanness, and loneliness. Didn’t know when this year started, that my life would feel like a torturous game of “escape room”, but sometimes, it does.
For now, I’m going to nestle myself into my home. I’m laying off stressing myself about finances, outside responsibilities, events, socializing, housework , and pain. Monday is my birthday, and I deserve one day exactly how I’d like it to go.
When all is said and done, I’ve made it through every trial this far. I must be doing alright.
As I was growing up, my sinuses never bothered me. Saline solution is a simple combination of salt and water. My tears handled the cleansing my face needed.
When I became a Sophomore in college, the tears weren’t as often…. because I became a bit more rebellious. One particular day, I was doing a pose in my yoga class. I had my left hand flat on the floor, tucked behind my left ankle. My right hand was completely horizontal with my left, and I was facing the ceiling. Out of no where, my temperature jumped super high and the room started spinning. It was the craziest feeling ever. I was freaking out.
After many years, I learned is it a condition called vertigo. There’s different types, and some can be corrected with surgery. I fortunately simply take prescribed Meclizine, and I’m feeling steady on my feet again.
Because of this sensitivity, I had to quit burning most candles. This really made me upset, because candles were one of my favorite parts of my self-care plan. I had them lit while in a hot bubble bath, in the evening while watching tv. They were my opened door to spiritual healing.
It wasn’t until three years ago, a decade later, that I discovered incense. A guy I knew had it burning at his house, and it wasn’t inflamming my sinuses!! I actually realized I preferred it over candles.
I’ve been an addicted fool ever since!
My favorite scents are by Essential Essences!!!
I had lost thirteen pounds in two weeks. I was rudely awakened by the general consensus regarding others and my need to talk (they didn’t hear me!). I was isolated from a support system, most friends, professional help, and usually the general public. My anxiety astronomically skyrocketed because there was too much unknown. Not only that but there was absolutely NO consistency! I had terrible stomach pains, didn’t sleep much, drank entirely too much coffee…. and made myself feel crazy while “waiting”. The one ray of hope I THOUGHT I had, …. turned out to be a wolf in sheeps clothing. This was the life I had chosen for myself, a life most would’ve abandoned way sooner.
I’m not in that particular “time” any longer, though the aftermath lingers. Being single feels super lonely. I just invested 14 months submitting to a dominant… Now, if you’re not familiar with this lifestyle, please Google it. Needless to say, the submission is completely voluntary because in return, her needs (both in and outside the bedroom) are met. That’s how it’s “suppose” to happen.
Being single means alone… Sleeping, out to eat, nights, weekends, Netflix and Chill, every minute. Sure it’s healthy to be content with being alone. It’s necessary for such time, as well. Trust me, I understand that. There were too many instances over this time when I felt I should’ve had my boyfriend and I didn’t. He wasn’t there to hold me when I didn’t feel good. He wasn’t there to give me a hug when life felt too overwhelming. He wasn’t there to talk and work out our confrontations. He just wasn’t present.
With all of that being said, this was and is the man who’s had the greatest place in my heart. I looked for hope with us. I looked for change, for improvement. I felt that if I saw growth, we were headed in the right direction.
What direction was that?… And this is the error in this whole mess… The direction towards future tense picture of us. He and I were always talking about what we can do now to get to where we want to be. Now, that sounds like what a serious couple should be doing right? That’s something most couples do, and it should be a good sign… But, here’s the problem… Our current life wasn’t how we wanted it, so our goals were rather short term… We were working on this together… Hell, I thought we were even good as to being on the same page! This picture of us was constantly front and center! It’s how we always did it.
The beginning of this year, all that I knew life to be for him and I stopped… Abruptly…
And I wasn’t ready.
This day couldn’t have ended fast enough. Some days will be like that, and I’ll really find it difficult to see what made/makes me happy.
My favorite place on earth💜 Today is absolutely perfect. It’s not hot. It’s not humid. It’s not over populated. No kids to keep on track. Not a cloud in the sky, and it’s breezy!! This is my heaven 😍
I’m not made for this world.
I feel too deeply,
I see what you hide.
I know what you’ve kept secret
And I hear what’s unsaid.
Situations do not chain me,
To my past and imperfect mistakes,
I’m never a victim of circumstance,
But, the decider of my fate.
This life has never been easy,
I’ve lost to know my strength,
I’ve fallen just to rise again,
And certainly handle my own.
My thoughts go beyond the surface,
Of what society understands,
My mind can see the bigger picture
The road map of active lives, impacting
Everything and everyone he or she touches.
I am a strong and independent woman.
I have flaws of my very own.
I know my truths, it’s how I live…
I am one of a kind.
#borntowin #madeforthis #areyoureadyforsomeonelikeme
I have this body, and I live this human form. I eat to keep others happy, and I sleep as well as I can. I do my best to obey the laws, keep bills paid, and provide for my beautiful daughters. I manage appointments, find necessary recourses, prepare meals, and try to have relationships with others. All who exist do the same things, to a degree. As a species, this is how I live, how others see me.
They are the outside, looking in. Continue reading To Be Free 🕊