My Mental Health Journey 7

Some days I’m not going to feel like myself. When half of my soul is not doing well, and hospitalized, how can I possibly feel completely myself.

Being HSP and an Empath, I’m physically capable of ” sensing” what others do. With him, it’s a STRONG pull… And it’s exhausting!

Soulmate is the word our society uses ever so lightly. Marriage vows often define the cost of the wedding, designer of the dress, and signatures on paper… It’s not a sanctified union anymore.

But when you’re someone like me, and you love someone beyond anything understandable to human life, because such is everything most couldn’t ever feel… Then, you sit, and pray like you’ve never prayed before.

I’m not ok today. I’m exhausted. For some time, my life has been chaos… Sickness, hospital visits, puke, bitchy school staff, inconsiderate neighbors, pain in the ass car…

It’s just me dealing with all this. I’m paralyzed to do much, because my anxiety nearly has me consumed to my oversized chair. I may try and sleep.

It’s not what I’d prefer to be doing right now, but the temporary comfort of warmth and coziness would be nice. It’s just me here at home, right now. Though I have many thing I COULD be doing, I don’t want to.

Please continue to pray for my boyfriend. I’m hoping there was little to no damage done and that he is released soon. Thank you.

It’s OK to not be okay, sometimes. Today, I’m not ok.


My Mental Health Journey 6

When I think about mental health, I can’t help but to believe it’s the most vulnerable and susceptible to negative influences. It’s not like physical health, where a diet and exercise keeps away the illness. It’s more delicate and easily influenced by outside elements.

This morning, I was feeling REALLY good… And right now, I’m super sad. My resilience holds up for so long, before I need support 🙂 I truly believe we’re all like that though.

Mental Health is something that can change a million times a day; and we never know what is going to change to. It sucks when the aura changes from super happy to fatigued and sad, but it’s life… And we feeling it and facing it, helps us to get through it.

If you’re down and out tonight, if you’re frustrated because you were good, just this morning. I get it. I hear you. Our mental health can change any second, and it’s a real struggle sometimes. Hugs!!

My Mental Health Journey 5

“You seem happier!”

Someone just texted me that.

It’s crazy how fast words hit my eyes, then my heart, head, and soul at the same time.

Inspiration is so refreshing.

Anyway, what these three words said to me is

” You’re validated.”

” You’re hard work is paying off.”

” You are improving, what you’re doing is working.”

It’s encouraging to hear from another that they see what I’ve been working so hard to achieve.

It’s not about acceptance from anyone else, but that my efforts are evident and I can proudly smile in self validation.


I am happier. It’s true.

In my writing, I’m able to expose my ugliness and feel heard.

That, alone, is freeing.

You’re my therapy sessions lol, except I’m not paying a fortune, and limited to two hours.


I’m happier because of this job opportunity.

There’s more to that than what’s on the surface.

Ten years ago, I was a married closeted Bisexual, living in low income and ghetto housing, miserable, lost, and unhappy.

I had little confidence & very little pride in myself.

That year, I graduated with a 4.0 and a teaching license.

It was the being of my self discovery.

This job opportunity is the first one that I’m excited to start.

This is the first one that I feel confident to do, and to do well.

This is the most motivated and eager I’ve felt about a job ” EVER”!

MAYBE it’s because this job is career material, incredible in so many ways.


I’m happier because I’m working on my emotions.

Being INFJ & HSP, AND EMPATH is exhausting.

There’s only a few of you who can possibly understand what I’m saying.

But, what I’m doing, and I just went through this process this morning, is being mindful and intentional about what I feel.

I was feeling so down this morning. I felt a certain way about an individual, and I didn’t like it.

Instead of sorting through why I felt as I did, I slipped insecurity through my fingers via text.

Then, I remembered I didn’t have to feel yucky. I realized I could identify what I do feel, remove the foggy lense, and feel ok.


I’m happier because I feel some sense of purpose.

Making time to care for these free little libraries has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

I’m able to demonstrate kindness to my daughter’s.

I’m able to use my time for a greater good.

I able to get outside, and invest into the future of generations to come.

This allows me to give to the community and not have to deal with coworkers and deadlines lol.

This also provides a place where I can place necessities for those who may need it.


It feels good to feel this sense of self acceptance and identity.

It really does!

My Mental Health Journey 4

The conversation became about his surgery. I realized that there’s things that were unsaid, that I needed to say. I realized that he never asked me about my thoughts regarding the surgery, not before it happened, and not since.

I realized, in my definition of a relationship, that that wasn’t ok. I realized that choices are made by everyone, but in a relationship, some need to be made together. In a relationship, couples communicate about their lives. They share and involve one another.

He made the decision to have this surgery without me even knowing about it. He didn’t talk to me about it. He didn’t ask me what my thoughts were. He just made this decision… And it resulted in him forgetting who I am.

So yes, I feel angry. I feel lots of anger, because it’s me he forgot. I feel angry because it’s me he left out when the option was presented to him. It’s me who has suffered the biggest loss.

It’s my emotions and thoughts he still hasn’t asked about. It’s my life that’s had the biggest impact as a result of HIS choice… And he gets mad when I explain all this to him. He gets mad when I explain that my relationship with him is different than any other he has, that I deserve consideration when it comes to such decisions, that being with someone means respecting their views… Even if you don’t go with their suggestion.

No, he made this choice to have surgery, without me knowing, hurt me, more like devastate me, then disrespect my thoughts when I finally speak up… He says ” My body, my choice!”

Sometimes people don’t realize what they have until it becomes a memory.

I sure never asked for this. I’m most defiantly not happy. I no longer have the desire to try with him.

I want to work and better life for my girls.

My Mental Health Journey 2

Shared this via @MightyApp and I haven’t recieved the support I needed.

Again, I’m sharing my bits of Mental Health Journey. As much as I advocate for Healthy & Self -Care, I’m human. I’ll have low days, and days when I struggle to feel positive and at peace. Believe it or not, today was one of those days.

Here’s what I posted on the app:

Today’s Sunday, the day most spend with family. My boyfriend had ” brunch” with his. Sounds lovely, right?! It is…
But here’s more of the back story…
I’m not all that included in his family. Part of it is he’s super cautious whom he brings around his children. The other part is he only knows about 5 months of me, from the 2 1/4 years we’ve been together.
He began having seizures last fall. He had a quick surgery, in his temporal lobe… Where the memory bank is located. It seemed once he came out of surgery and back to his life, I’m the one he forgot… Of those who mattered most, anyway.
I’ve struggled BEYOND COMPREHENTION with trying to ” start over and relearn” him.
Anyway, Sundays are suppose to be wonderful days of family, I am trying my hardest to be patient and believe he’ll naturally begin to include me, but today I’m just struggling. I never want him to feel guilty or obligated. I never want sympathy for my life… I just want to belong.. And to belong with him and his family. I want all of us, me and my two, him and his kids.. All of us. It’s what I hope for.
#CheckInWithMe  #heartbreak  #Depression  #Epilepsy#Anxiety  #MightyTogether  #CheckInWithMe  #Grief#Sadness  #sad  #hurting  #tears  #mighty  #Prayer#struggling

Thank you for simply listening!

Mental Health Resources: 81 Awesome Resources When You Can’t Afford a Therapist | Greatist

Keep this list of mental health resources handy whenever you need some backup. | Greatist | Health and Fitness News, Tips, Recipes, and Exercises
— Read on

My Mental Health Journey 1

When I was a little girl, I thought like a little girl. I acted like a little girl. I was treated as A. Little. Girl…. I was being raised by a single mom, who had 4 other children and no help. She did what she could, but understandably, it was too much. She moved to Virginia. We kids were placed in the system.

My siblings and I were taken in by this couple, who couldn’t have children. At that time, I didn’t know the underlying secrets of that fact. Soon after we were rerooted to this new life, still unsettled mind you, they got pregnant. Not once but twice. In two years, this couple went from no children to eight.

None of us felt our lives made sense. I did what was expected of me, and yet us “older kids” were raised differently than the younger ones. I noticed it, early on..I was in elementary school when I “knew” the insanity of our departure from that house was going to be dramatic and ugly. The saddest part was my inability to do anything to prevent it.

As we grew, I was reprimanded and disciplined. Much like a dictatorship, there was no other way. I had no voice. I had no options, opinions, or alternatives. That’s exactly how things were operated. I had zero opportunity to express what I felt. There wasn’t even a system to teach me what any of it was or how to regulate it. They didn’t allow such individuality.

As I got older, my numerical number increased, but my maturity didn’t. I didn’t experience that part of life which establishes and nourishes maturity! Why wasn’t I close to my parents? Why weren’t they introducing me to new concepts? Why weren’t they encouraging me to try?? Why didn’t they understand that criticism wasn’t a successful way to develop confidence while learning a skill. I was condemned for not cooking, as if I had no initiative.

I didn’t feel comfortable with trying to learn to cook. I didn’t feel comfortable being around my mother. I had absolutely no self confidence or desire to be alone with her, in the kitchen. The essential skills that we learn in the preteen years, I didn’t know. The life skills I needed by 21, I didn’t have until 5 years ago.

During my young adolescent years, I was emotionally abused because she resented me. I was abused because of the issues she carried. I was abused by a woman who didn’t love me… nor did she want me. She didn’t even like me. She didn’t like any of us 4 older kids… because we weren’t her own. She never said as much… but, actions speak so loud… and hers were a hell of a ton louder than the bullshit that escaped her mouth.

I saw this resentment so clearly, when everyone in the family worked so hard to keep hidden. It angered me. It hurt me. Year after year, the same lie continued. It just took on more of a recognizable shape. When I was in middle school, eighth grade, this darkness became verbal/emotional abuse. I suffered because two adults made a choice to adopt. I suffered because a grown woman chose not to face her own demons. She spent years lying to me about who she was. She spent years lying to herself.

My Dear Love

I can’t begin to tell the truths that I feel for us, about us. The road that’s lead us here seemed to be created with every broken road up to that point. I questioned you. I doubted myself. I cursed God for placing me on that road. I felt insane. I felt incapable and much less inadequate. I felt anger and grief, I felt suffering and anguish. I felt many things, deeply and completely.

As time passes, and 2017 turned into 2018… And May became June, I saw light again. In all that time, the faith and hope I carried was from God alone. It truly was only He who got me through. He kept you in my heart. He kept you as close to me as my next breath. I have absolutely no doubt, that at times, what I could feel.. Was you.. Your tears and pain, your anger and insomnia.

The road hasn’t been easy but it’s been beyond worth it. Our story is ours, and it’s beautiful. It’s a fast cry from the fairytale you’d read in a Disney book. It’s one of a kind, a testiment to what love really is :

Here’s the text I sent you today. The entire time, I strongly felt some heavenly presence, guiding me with what to say. I’m so proud of you. I just know amazing things are in store for you, and your life will be greatly enriched.

You know why that’s hopeful for you?… 🖤healing isn’t something you buy

It’s something you do. It’s something you can control, and you, of all the people I know, have the discipline to keep focused and achieve what you set your mind to. There’s no mystery in the formula

Lack of sleep + constant movement to run from anxiety + stress + PTSD= seizures.

Before your surgery, you were a ticking timebomb. The second you went idle, you got sick… It caught up with you because you’re human, perfectly created with imperfections and mortality … Note: I didn’t say weak.

Now is your time to become mentally strong. Some things you absolutely can’t control, and you’re not meant too.. Acceptance of that which you can’t will help. Wisdom to accept that will help. Time has a way of working things out. Trust that, you’ll see 💕 Im so proud of you.

The Door is Locked

My letters:

I’m not a perfect human, and I’ve fallen short. I’ve carried bitterness and anguish for years. My words are my truth. My thoughts are my truth. I need heard. I deserve to be free of the imperfections that I created before I knew better. I deserve to be happy, though I’ll never meet the expectations of my adoptive parents. These letters are my transparent vulnerability of my past, present, and future. Handle them with care.


Nova from “My Namaste’ 365 Online” Stops by and Talks Mental Health: TidePodcast Epic-Sode 42

Have a listen if you’d like :)!! Thank you BottomlessCoffee007 for having me ~

Nova from “My Namaste’ 365 Online” Stops by and Talks Mental Health: TidePodcast Epic-Sode 42
— Read on

Living with a Mental Illness VI

Take time, MAKE TIME, to be good to you! When you feel overwelmed with life, when your thoughts are on the highest volume and everything is creating anxiety, stop…..

Grab your self care kit ( check out my blog for ideas), and take time to unwind 💕💕💕 Here’s a list of other super ideas! The important thing is you feeling better about you. No other and no one else’s voice matters.

Living with a Mental Illness V

A dear friend of mine once said, “My dad would always say ‘Together, we win!’ “.. And this has stuck with me since. Love never gives up. Love conquers all… No matter how challenging it is. Those of us who struggle… NEED your strength when we don’t have it. We need you to gently remind us of our own strength, so we rise up from the dark stuff.

As humans, we were made to be here for one another. Be that person to someone, you’ll make all the difference.

Living with a Mental Illness III

Your peace of mind is yours to keep. Without your consent, nothing can take that from you. Sometimes, situations, that are less significant, rob us of that. Things like tiredness, stress, and hunger can create a sense of impatience and irritability. When dealing with others, a peace of mind truly is a win-win situation. They feel heard. The consideration is appreciated and respectful. You walk away pleasantly content.

You can find this image, as well as therapy worksheets, coloring pages, and many other valuable resources on my PINTEREST BOARD : My Namaste 365 Online

Living with A Mental Illness II

“Some of the most evil human beings in the world are psychiatrists. Not all psychiatrists. Some psychiatrists are selfless, caring people who really want to help. But the sad truth is that in today’s society, mental health isn’t a science. It’s an industry. Ritalin, Zoloft, Prozac, Lexapro, Resperidone, happy pills that are supposed to “normalize” the behavior of our families, our colleagues, our friends – tell me that doesn’t sound the least bit creepy! Mental health is subjective. To us, a little girl talking to her pretend friends instead of other children might just be harmless playing around. To a psychiatrist, it’s a financial opportunity. Automatically, the kid could be swept up in a sea of labels. “not talking to other kids? Okay, she’s asocial!” or “imaginary friends? Bingo, she has schizophrenia!” I’m not saying in any way that schizophrenia and social disorders aren’t real. But the alarming number of people, especially children, who seem to have these “illnesses” and need to be medicated or locked up… it’s horrifying. The psychiatrists get their prestigious reputation and their money to burn. The drug companies get fast cash and a chance to claim that they’ve discovered a wonder-drug, capable of “curing” anyone who might be a burden on society… that’s what it’s all about. It’s not about really talking to these troubled people and finding out what they need. It’s about giving them a pill that fits a pattern, a weapon to normalize people who might make society uncomfortable. The psychiatrists get their weapon. Today’s generations get cheated out of their childhoods. The mental health industry takes the world’s most vulnerable people and messes with their heads, giving them controlled substances just because they don’t fit the normal puzzle. And sadly, it’s more or less going to get worse in this rapidly advancing century.” 
― Rebecca McNutt

Living with a Mental Illness

“I get so god damn lonely and sad and filled with regrets some days. It overwhelms me as I’m sitting on the bus; watching the golden leaves from a window; a sudden burst of realisation in the middle of the night. I can’t help it and I can’t stop it. I’m alone as I’ve always been and sometimes it hurts…. but I’m learning to breathe deep through it and keep walking. I’m learning to make things nice for myself. To comfort my own heart when I wake up sad. To find small bits of friendship in a crowd full of strangers. To find a small moment of joy in a blue sky, in a trip somewhere not so far away, a long walk an early morning in December, or a handwritten letter to an old friend simply saying ”I thought of you. I hope you’re well.”

No one will come and save you. No one will come riding on a white horse and take all your worries away. You have to save yourself, little by little, day by day. Build yourself a home. Take care of your body. Find something to work on. Something that makes you excited, something you want to learn. Get yourself some books and learn them by heart. Get to know the author, where he grew up, what books he read himself. Take yourself out for dinner. Dress up for no one but you and simply feel nice. it’s a lovely feeling, to feel pretty. You don’t need anyone to confirm it.

I get so god damn lonely and sad and filled with regrets some days, but I’m learning to breathe deep through it and keep walking. I’m learning to make things nice for myself. Slowly building myself a home with things I like. Colors that calm me down, a plan to follow when things get dark, a few people I try to treat right. I don’t sometimes, but it’s my intent to do so. I’m learning.I’m learning to make things nice for myself. I’m learning to save myself.
I’m trying, as I always will.” 
― Charlotte Eriksson

Q&A about me [by me😉]

  1. I definitely prefer blue, but I use black more often.
  2. I prefer to live right outside the city, close enough where entertainment and resources are available, but I will have privacy.
  3. I would learn how to use a gun. I’ve never shot one before.
  4. I prefer my coffee with cream and sugar.
  5. My favorite books as a child were the Anne of Green Gables books and anything by Beatrix Potter.
  6. I prefer bubble baths with salts over anything!
  7. I would be a hobbit because well they’re just cute.
  8. I don’t read much of anything:/ I’m trying to change that.
  9. My favorite item of clothing is panties. Haha nothing else needs said.
  10. I love my name because my momma gave it to me. I’ve had it changed before and I’m back to using my birth name.
  11. My friend Minnie in like a friend, mentor, and Mom to me.
  12. I have no desire what’s so ever to be famous. I hate spotlight attention.
  13. I am a restless sleeper. It’s super annoying lol.
  14. I am an INFJ, who is a Cancerian. Of course I’m a hopeless romantic lol.
  15. Water is my birth element, and it’s perfectly suitable for me.
  16. Right now, I want to be closer to a few people: my daughters, boyfriend, and you readers.
  17. I always miss someone. It’s apart of my nature.
  18. When I was younger than four, my twin and I were taken to a foster home. There was a nice front yard. When we walked in, to the left was the kitchen, to the right was the living room.
  19. Oyster is the strangest thing I’ve ever eaten. You?
  20. I sure can, right down to the road I live on. Nothing exciting.
  21. I am most thankful for second chances.
  22. I actually can’t handle spicy foods.
  23. I have met Julie Roberts, Maurie Povitch, and Majestik the Magnificent.
  24. I have both a hard copy and digital diary. I also have several platforms in which I use to write.
  25. I prefer to use pen, doesn’t fade. I admire the antiqued vintageness of pencil and paper though.
  26. I’m a cancer, crab.
  27. I love crunchy cereal. Cherrios, shredded wheat, honeycombs. The only two kind I like soggy are Cinnamon toast crunch and rice crispy.
  28. I simply want a legacy left of love.
  29. Unfortunately, I don’t read much anymore.
  30. I show someone that I love them by complementing them, doing things for them, spending time with them, and listening.
  31. I like iced milk, juice, coffee… doesn’t matter.
  32. My biggest fear is my girls being abducted. Next is them being killed in any other way.
  33. I love the smell of fresh rain:)
  34. I address people by Mr or Ms
  35. I When live my life as if I never had lots of money, because that teaches humility and humbleness.
  36. I actually hate swimming,so I wouldn’t prefer swimming in either.
  37. I would buy several necessities from the dollar tree, make care packages and stick them in our free little library’s around town.
  38. I have seen a few shooting stars in my life and I have always made a wish.
  39. I want to teach my children that diversity is the beauty in our human race.
  40. I need to get my daughter’s name and a butterfly done. I’m not sure where.
  41. Right now I can hear the TV series Numbers on my TV. The wind blowing outside, and my girls laughing in the other room.
  42. I feel the safest snug in my bed under several covers with my giant teddy bear.
  43. I want to overcome my emotional irregularities. It’s difficult for me regulate sometimes.
  44. I would really like to travel back to the era of King Tut!
  45. 😂
  46. My favorite season is autumn for everything that it is as far as site smells tastes holidays.
  47. My ideal day would be with my boyfriend and my girls at the park with a picnic basket 75 and breezy by a creek or stream and probably some kind of animals and a kite.
  48. Complex
  49. I don’t regret anything, actually.
  50. (Blank😂)

The Mirror Effect Of The Empath: Why Some People Dislike You Instantly – The Minds Journal

PWe have all experienced it, being around someone who has either taken an instant dislike to us, or a bizarre resentment suddenly appears in those we have known for some time. The Mirror Effect Of The Empath: Why Some People Dislike You Instantly
— Read on

Interesting read 🤔🤔

10 of the best mental health apps for 2018

Life happens! When it does, these apps are here to assist us in regaining control of our thoughts, breathing, confidence, and self esteem. These handy apps are here if we’re looking for a peaceful little away scape, place to throw up some thoughts, and talk with a professional about a situation. At any moment, I hope any of these apps help you find your peace once again.

Whether you’re going through a rough patch, experiencing depression, anxiety, or stress, or having relationship issues, there is an app to help.
— Read on

The Red❣️White⚪️ & Blue🇺🇸

It’s not a national holiday. Nothing in particular triggered a need.

It’s something I just want to do, and it’s honestly something I should do more frequently…

🕊❣️💙🕊❣️💙Thank you American Soldiers🕊❣️💙 🕊❣️💙

This country is the best place on this planet. Our freedoms are priceless privileges granted to us at birth. I listen to friends talk of their Homeland,.. and the struggles they face simply because that’s “the way it is”. We are so extraordinarily lucky to live in this country. If we don’t like a law, we can change it. If we don’t wish to continue a Catholic, we can choose a different path. That gift was brought to you by the hundreds of thousands who have and are defending your freedoms.

🕊❣️💙I get Goosebumps when I was Toby Keith’s Courtesy of the Red, White, & Blue , American Soldier , and Made in America !!🕊❣️💙

The boys in the music videos, our boys burst with pride, standing twenty-five feet tall.. it’s breathtaking to watch their passion for what they’re doing. The patriotism, the courage to do what’s right, the solidarity of one Union…. The Land of the FREE. THEY all have my deepest gratitude, appreciation, and support. They deserve it. There’s more at stake when they’re on the enemy front that most of us take for granted. For years, America has been protected by brave men and women… And now service dogs. Today, I just want to take a moment to say thank you. You all are heroes… You all are appreciated, and you’re continuously covered in prayers💙❣️🕊❣️💙🕊❣️💙

ABC to Self Care

applying body lotion care cosmetic product
Photo by Linda Prebreza on

It’s NEVER to late to begin loving yourself! Your mental health is a result of how you treat yourself….

AND if no ones told you today, you are deserving of good things!

Here’s a wonderful list to get you started🌸🌼

7 Things Highly Sensitive People Should Do For Their Mental Health

Highly Sensitive is a newer genre of people. LoL, so special in his/her own way. If you’re not familiar with what I mean, here is an incredible pdf, full of information.

I know I’m constantly feeling overwhelmed with life. Self care is something I must practice. It’s no optional for me. Here’s a few helpful ideas if you’re feeling a need to too much.

Providing a fresh spin on news, entertainment, fashion, beauty, lifestyle, books, and any and all subjects that concern women. Bustle is an online community delivering original content that’s smart, shareable, and, most importantly, fun.
— Read on