Tag Archives: Death

Eight Years in a Single Blink

Taken December 2013

Dave is a subject of frequent conversation here at my house. His daughter, my Zivah, deserves to know the details of her wonderful dad. I wish she remembered more. I wish he would have stayed alive. It was she, who lives with the greatest loss.

The “S” word is nearly taboo. It shouldn’t be; though, because it’s undeniably real. Social media frowns upon the use of the word. The government literally destroys all that the mind tries to shield against it.

Regardless, this loss leaves many individuals with this tremendous grief. This type of grief is called Disenfranchised Grief. In The Mind’s Journal, it is defined as

Disenfranchised grief is the term first coined by Dr. Kenneth Doka in the 1980s. The grief and loss expert defined the term in his book Disenfranchised grief: recognizing hidden sorrow as “the grief that persons experience when they incur a loss that is not or cannot be openly acknowledged, publicly mourned, or socially supported.”

The Mind’s Journal

Personally, I hadn’t ever heard of such a term. Similarly, I wasn’t aware of any circumstances that are classified as such. If you’re interested, here are a few sites that will be insightful.

  1. The Mind’s Journal
  2. WebMD
  3. The StepMom Project
  4. Not So Mommy
  5. Choosing Therapy

It might even sound like this!

Always remember, what you feel is valid. It’s your reality. No one can make it less anything, for you. No one can fix any of it for you.

You work through it, by means of therapy, meditation, exercise, and acceptance should come.

Be gentle with yourself.

It’s been a lengthy process, for me.

I am expecting it to last forever.

With Love and Light,

Nova

Haynes Family Adventure

Some days are harder than others.

Loss is really hard. Even the strongest of us, us moms, struggle a bit when a piece of us is missing.

Today, a little over a week since I found out he passed, my daughters and I revisited the park he and I went to. It was difficult. My eyes would glance off into some awkward direction; and, he’d be there. It really does feel like a big chunk of myself is gone.

Today wasn’t as bad as previous day, though. Healing is happening.. slowly. My daughters had fun. This was day 3 in a row, at the playground… so they were tired.

I’m always transparent with you readers because you have to know I go through life similarly to you.

Thank you for giving me some of your time!

Happy Weekend!

Stay Safe, Speak Life, and Spread Kindness!

Nova

Company among the Dead

She couldn’t catch her breath.

“This is what a panic attack feels like!” her mind echoed in her silence.

All the noises around her; but, she couldn’t hear.

Only the presence of her outraged core had her attention.

Not a single person held space with empathy.

Very few extended condolences, cold, shallow and obligatory of course.

She was outragged. All the judgemental eyes looked in her direction.

He didn’t want her there. It wasn’t “their” kind of place! She felt that, every single minute that passed.

Even after life, he spoke right to her truth.

The service started. She hid in the back, afraid she’d make a scene she couldn’t take back.

Mumbled and muffled, the Pastor was saying things… But she didn’t listen.

She couldn’t hear past the anger she carried!

Then, in a few slip seconds, she heard

“He was a brother and a Son”.

And she snapped! It took every fiber of her being

From interrupting everyone’s “grieving”… And speak her damn mind.

She knew the baby needed more of her though.

She knew they hurt… And she was hurt.

She knew she didn’t HAVE to stay.

She knew no one would care if she left.

So she gathered her things, said her goodbyes,

And left.

Whispers and shit circled the rumor mill..

But she didn’t care. The ONLY person that mattered was 18 months old.

…………………….

What hallowed the hearts of people that day wasn’t grief… It was guilt. When we don’t understand, and it creates pain…

We carelessly search for someone to blame.

Compassion is a thing… Good throughout every year. Let’s use it often as possible. We never know what one is going through.

Until next time,

Nova Namastè

The Dawn has Come

I’ve been through some crap. I’m hella certainly not going to devalue it, for ANY reasons!

Testing my sanity, yesterday was an emotional war!!

But, I wept.. and the morning came!

In 9 days, 18 families lost loved ones to an evil addiction.

Morning didn’t come for those 18 overdose victims. Mourning came to the brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers.

You see, this is my “time of healing” and ” silver lining ” that I knew was coming!

No it’s NOT the death of human life… it’s the LIFE of MY LOVED ONES 🧡💚 God KNOWS my Boyfriend’s son makes me nuts, but he’s important to me! My boyfriend can drive me crazy. My girls push my buttons… But you know what, none of them are out fighting such a monstrous evil!

When you WANT to see POSITIVE and HEALING… When that’s your intention, you WILL 💖

8 Overdose Deaths Over Memorial Day Weekend – Cleveland, OH – At least 18 overdose deaths have occurred since May 20, according to the Cuyahoga County Medical Examiner’s Office.
— Read on patch.com/ohio/cleveland/8-overdose-deaths-over-memorial-day-weekend-cuyahoga-county

It Didn’t Matter As Much, Until It Did.

There’s going to come a moment,

When your world is going to stop,

And the next minute, the next hour

The next day, week,

The next second is going to be of uncertainty.

Life is going to feel so fragile.

The idea of feeling hopeful feels like

A jynx, and there will be very little control of your own.

It’s the downfall, the dark clouds, and the questioning

That draws out courage, strength, and wisdom.

It’s the possibilities of the end that rearrange

Priorities and gives us perspective.

We’re usually not prepared for such moments,

We think it’ll never happen to us..

Until it does.

It does…

Then, we begin to live…

Because tomorrow isn’t promised.

This Daily Prompt: Apparition

This was created for Sheryl’s This Daily Prompt: Apparition. You can find the details to this, and the previous challenges, by clicking HERE 💛

Obituary

Fawver, Vera

Bday: 03/36/1976

Died: 02/16/2079

Sweet Vera transended into heaven on Thursday, the 16th of February. She’s proceeded in death by her mother, Cecelia. Vera was a bright and bubbly little girl. She was always laughing and cooing at nature’s creatures, big and small. She had the most charming head of curls and endless compassion. Among her living relatives are her two brothers, Dusty and Paul, her father Marshall, and many Aunts and Uncles. Funeral arrangements will be made in the next few days. Flowers can be sent to the family home or to Ronald McDonald’s Children’s Hospital.

Continue reading This Daily Prompt: Apparition

Dialogue Prompt Challenge

I am devilishly curious🤪 What took you there in the first place? Why can’t you just behave? Are you human or a new life form? Creature perhaps? Is this reality? Some bizarre dream from eating to much chocolate before bed?

* Please keep your response under 250 words. I can’t wait to read them. *

Most importantly, Have Fun

* Anyone, who feels inspired, can participate. Please tag your post #NDPC

  (<u>⬆️ IMPORTANT, so I don't miss reading your</u>s)

Leader vs Royal

Writing for the Your Daily Word Prompt for today:D : imperious

Despite his royal status, and the endless riches, despite his physical difficulties, during his reign as a young man, he never grew imperious in character. He was Pharoah; but he behaved as would any male his age. I admire this about him because those years are emotionally confusing and hormonal.

Super interesting article about the aspect of his character.

Photo Prompt Credit Pixabay

Denial

I thought that if I acted like it didn’t matter, it wouldn’t. No one warned me; I never saw the sign… It comes back stronger, three times fold, with every effort to resist.

The reminders are everywhere. Friends no longer stop and say hello. They don’t know how to handle it, making eye contact, knowing what they know.

The store window where we met; the diner of our first date. I can’t escape the taunting ruthlessness. I had visited the studio where we recorded our love album, and I felt I could physically feel your presence.

You’ve only been gone six months, but, even now, the wound is so raw.. there isn’t a safety scab or a bandaid capable of taking off any edge of this.

I thought if I could put you out of my mind, and act like it didn’t matter, that it wouldn’t…

But, denial is only the first stage in the process of grieving.

Photo Credit: pixel
Photo Credit: Pixel

Prompt inspired by Promptuarium

The mistake that costed everything By Dennis J. Watson

The mistake that costed everything By Dennis J. Watson

http://inmateblogger.com/2018/11/03/the-mistake-that-costed-everything-by-dennis-j-watson/
— Read on inmateblogger.com/2018/11/03/the-mistake-that-costed-everything-by-dennis-j-watson/

This is someone’s reality…

See how different it is from yours?

And mine, my heart feels so much,

My grief for this man, and his precious Avi is unconsolable!

In such a moment, when he needed those he NEVER thought would let him down…. They did…

And he simply behaved like a parent…

Trying to calm his anxious squirming daughter.

Kindness matters because we don’t know what others are going through. Kindness matters because we’re all human…

And life takes us through storms…

They’re manageable when we’re not facing additional hatred and evil… When we’re not walking them alone.

#CFFC: Places People Live #6

Theme: Places People Live

I live in the hugs of my girls,

In the coffee shop I visit, and

The memories with friends.

I live in the parks I walk,

In the tears that fall,

In all my beginnings, and every end.

I live in the words I speak, in the

Truths of my life, in the stories I tell.

I live from the love I give, the kindness

Shared, and within hearts who knew me well.

I am me in this life, I am

Just the Human form.

In the after years, though,

the marvelous thing,

I’ll live forever more.

Get all the details to the Cee’s Fun Foto Challenge Here 🎃✨

Dangerously Alive

” Pool slides,

Skydives,

Rollercoasters,

Swings,

Campfires,

Horse riding,

Bungee jumping

broken wings,

Gun violence,

Selling drugs,

Walking the streets at night,

Prostitution, bar scene hopping,

Strung out, asking for a fight.

Riding the elevator,

Crossing the street,

Hosting a homeless stranger,

Everything has the slightest bit

Of unpreventable danger.”