Posted in affirmations, healing, positivity, Writing

Reflections

The words of others will never be a reflection of ourselves.

It’s their pain. It’s their perspective.

Even in conversation, regarding your truth, the words (thoughts/opinions) of others is NOT yours.

Have a fabulous Sunday!

Nova Namstè

Posted in Life, Writing

Throwback Thursday: Reblog

2018 ~ I should have listened ~

Taken from Promptuarium

I should have listened to my friends,

When they said, “That’s not a good idea.”

I should have listened when they said,

“It’s getting really late.”

I should have listened to my friends,

When they said, ” He’s just playing you.

Making you his hourly rate.”

I should have listened to my friends,

When I walked into that house,

When he handed me that cup.

I should have listened to my friends,

Instead of fuckin up.

My friends didn’t know I went,

My friends didn’t pour me that drink,

My friends didn’t see the pop “drop”,

Couldn’t carry me when I couldn’t think.

You see,

If I listened to my friends,

I would’ve stayed home, safe,

I would’ve remembered that night,

Instead of questioning rape.

If I listened to my friends,

I wouldn’t wake up

Paranoid

Terrified, Living

fight or flight.

I wouldn’t be carrying this baby,

Scared and physically ill.

I would understand intuitive

Voices, and

Respected my free will.

Nova©️2️⃣0️⃣1️⃣8️⃣

Posted in Challenge, Life, Writing

#FF Out of Sorts

PHOTO PROMPT © Sandra Crook

This adventure is being written for Friday Fictioneers , hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields.


” Look there Sicily!! Isn’t that peculiar?” Bernadette motioned to the tractor, overloaded with hay bushels .

” It surely is, now!” she slowly added with a hint of curiosity in her tone.

“Sic, not this time! Let’s stay out of destiny’s way!” Nadet suggested, as she took her best friend’s arm.

“WHAT?? Really? What fun would that be?”

” The kind where we come out alive?” Bernadette snapped back!

“When did we begin worrying about death? I have plenty of spare lives yet to use!” Sicily commented as she faced Nadet.

“I’m 154 years old! I have reached the golden years of living!” The fear settled in her eyes.

After a warm embrace of understanding, the two ladies walked through the cobblestone wall and disappeared.

—–

Nova Namastè

Posted in Life, Mental Health, Writing

My Mental Health Journey #21: Transitioning to Transforming

Who am I? …. Have you ever asked yourself ? I’m curious to know how you responded. What did you think at the time? I wonder if, like me, you weren’t sure? Not entirely anyway.

In 2009, I started my discovery of who I am. I researched my health. I went to the doctor with the information and plan of action. I studied my personality test results. I researched about Highly Sensitive People. I wanted to believe I knew who I was. I wanted to believe I do know who I am.

That became me, what felt normal. I felt like I had a sense of self.. that I had worked through the crises and trauma of my childhood; and, I made it!

Roughly two months ago, something within me changed. I realized both of my two daughters were going to be school… 7 hours a day, 5 days a week… and my baby at her dad’s on the weekends.

That would follow 8.5 years of having AT LEAST one little child at home. It’s following, 24/7/365 days of attending to my kids. Picking up after them, bathing them, changing and dressing them, rocking and nursing, feeding and nurturing them. I literally made them my life.

Motherhood became “what I was good at”!

Before this chapter, I excelled in school.. I knew I was good at getting A’s! I enjoyed school. It seemed so much more simple than when I started in 2003. The difficult part of life was fairly over. I believed I could handle anything.

Ironically, though, at the same time, I wasn’t good at being “married”! Nope! I’ve been married twice and both were unhealthy codependency (not in a form of drugs!).

Was I good at being a friend? Hmmm. I was apart of a church. I was attending a fellowship group. I made attempts to create friendships in school. Everywhere I was, in every social settling, I wasn’t comfortable. I felt “literally felt the uncomfortable and awkward energy” in every one. That was without saying, members of the church would all congregate for some special reason or no reason.. and I would just so happen to find out, not be invited, whatever.

In a place that is suppose to be filled with a pure love, it was filled with favorites.. whispers.. facades of religion Jesus followers.. who only accepted a version of you.. or not at all.. because you are who you are…

When I came out as Bisexual, in 2009, I FINALLY felt comfortable in my own skin. I felt like I just threw opened the castle gates, for once in a long time. Anna from Frozen, best describes the freedom and joy in that moment.. when truth feels like it’s been achieved.

A divorce followed. A horrible broken heart followed that. Loss by the masses kept happening. Because I “chose the path” to sin? No! Because Truth should be hidden? No!

Because the world is comfortably complacent. In many world’s “Why fix what isn’t broken?”

So this leads me back to present time, kids start school.. And I FREAK OUT!!

Because I don’t know what else I’m good at! I have bad spells of anxiety because nights when my girls arent here, it’s literally too quiet sometimes. It’s so difficult to handle sometimes. I don’t know how to be or what to do with myself aside from mothering!

I suddenly feel all out of control.. Again! I feel uncomfortable and insecure. I feel such little confidence in my mental scenarios.

It’s a phase of transformation. It’s making me uncomfortable and doubtful.

I’ll be going through this for some time, I’m afraid. If anyone has any words of encouragement, I’d really appreciate it 💓

Thanks for listening!

Nova Namastè

Posted in Life, Writing

Word of the Day: Overdue

Dearest Darling,

I begin this letter wishing I had written sooner. There’s so much chaos around me; but, this correspondence is well overdue.

Last week, the captives escaped the torture camps. The guardsmen had fallen asleep. When officials arrived, the scene was of pools of blood and lives taken. It was the scariest thing, John.

In the days that followed, members of the Official Military bombarded and completely destroyed homes. Dozens upon dozens of families were scrutinized and threatened. I feared I’d be, mistakenly, shackled and drug away, like those other hopeless souls. It’s simply barbaric what is happening here, Love.

Oh, Dear, there’s a knock at the door. I shall wire again very soon…..


That’s it?” Henrietta gasped in great distress.

That’s all of it.” Fredrick quietly responded. He was sure this wasn’t the end of it for Etta.

She was his best friend, since year one in Primary School. The cubbies had been assigned in alphabetical order. He was Brinkly. She was Brodman. They sat beside one another in class. They played together outside.

Even in Secondary School, and High School the two of them were inseparable. Thick as thieves, their friendship defied all that could have destroyed it.

“Are there any other letters. Here, let me see.” She continued, snapping his attention back to the moment.

“ For real! No more? I can’t handle this. It appears we have work to do, then.” She finished while turning to face him.

He laughed. Not a normal, this isn’t really funny, but it is kind of laugh. No, he had the loud and boisterous affect to it.

“Girl, you’re crazy if you think I’m spending my vacation chasing down some love story as old as time” Fredrick snapped.

“Ok then, you’re walking home.” She snarled teasingly, of course.

“I have work to do” she added and headed downstairs.

Hope you enjoyed it!

Nova Namastè

Posted in haiku, Humor, Life, word of the day

Priorities

Knocks at the front door.

I’m eating a juicy peach.

Food first. Guest must wait.

😂😂✌🏻️🤷🏼‍♀️

Photo Credit Free Library

Word of the Day Challenge: Juicy

Food & Netflix 😀 lol I’m too busy for unannounced company. 🤣🤣

Lesson here, I have messed up priorities; but, unexpected guests are yuck. Ha!

Stay Safe, Speak Life, and Spread Kindness!

Nova Namastè