Category: morning mindset

Ship Goals 💙 {Updated!}

I can’t begin to emphasize the value of this simple phrase. Every single relationship needs this in order to grow!

Unfortunately, so many of us don’t have it!! If you are anything like me, you’ve delt with this frustrating lack of acknowledgement.

What do I mean? How is acknowledgment involved in the confrontation process? I would express my thoughts; and, it would fall on deaf ears. They might have heard me…;but, they were not listening! Oh noooo!! Instead, they were formulating their version of what happened.. righteously, justifying how their behavior wasn’t wrong.. They were defensive and argumentitive. They’d interrupt me while I explained. They were doing everything but LISTENING TO me.

Is it their fault? YES…. HOWEVER, Here’s my thoughts! When one feels a need to defend him/herself, it’s due to behavior stemmed from ridicule as a child. They received little to no acknowledgement of their thoughts and opinions from the adults in their lives. They grew up without acceptance. They didn’t have conversations where they felt heard. They might not even understand that all of this is ” a thing”.. An important component to maturity and adulthood.

In other words; they behave in accordance to what they know: no conflict resolution skills are available; and, there’s no solutions anyway.

Sadly, the catastrophic sharp words, disrespect, and growing anger cycle continues as long as we let it.

Today, I’m going to try and brake that chain.

FIRST: Your feelings matter.

AND {here’s the tough part} the thoughts, ideas, and opinions of those in your life.. matter too. Regardless of how YOU feel about THEIRS, they are valid.. And they are real to them.You will never have the authority to say what or how they feel.

So what is the answer? Maybe give this a try.

  1. The first step to reconciliation is actively listen.
  2. Verbalize that you acknowledge and hear what he/she has said.
  3. Repeat what you heard the other person say.
  4. Then, decide on a resolution that works for the both of you.

You’d also be surprised with how quickly a situation diffuses once someone feels heard. Not only, will the situation “soften”; but also, it will use time for effectively. The omission of unnecessary gabber opens up space for understanding.

I can tell you, it took me a great deal of my adult life to feel comfortable with confrontation. I would always run (literally!!) from it… Every day is a chance to do better. Every second is a choice to be better.

Respect.. Communication.. Acknowledgement… Acceptance… These elements develope through healthy childhoods. They develop through practice. patience… And love…

So when someone tells you how they feel, listen, accept, and acknowledge it. It’s real to him or her. Respect that.. And try to find a solution so it doesn’t keep happening.

Here’s to a healthier year 🙂

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My Mental Health Journey #23

Dear Brandy,

I’m proud of you! You don’t hear that enough; even from me. Please always remember that; no matter how often you hear it, it’s the truth!!

Particularly, I’m proud of you for growing in the aspect of acceptance. Whether you are solidifying boundaries or maturing in what was once insecurities, your chances are so beautiful.

I know you’ve heard many harsh things in your life. I know they’ve cut deep into your inner child. I’m so proud of you for learning the truths as they are. I’m proud of you for choosing to live in their light.

What’s easy isn’t always right, what’s right isn’t always easy.. But it’s completely worth it.

Keep thriving, striving, and contriving towards a better you.

Much love,

Nova Namastè

My Mental Health Journey #22

Dear Strong Woman:

You are amazing. You get up every morning, and, without hesitation, face whatever life brings you. You refuse to hide in your comfort space, long past the moment you needed too. You shake off the disappointment, once you’ve allowed yourself to feel it. You laugh, whether proud and loud, or under your breath.. Because your inner ornery voice decided to show up. You keep focused on better.

More so than ever, the roads, in your mind, are connecting and making sense. You are growing, learning to respond instead of react. You are taking action that will result in a better life, for yourself, and your daughters. Your continuous openess and vulnerability is so brave. In those moments, when you’re exhausted and begin to believe no one cares… You retrieve inward… knowing that your soul is seeking self care. That’s ok. You’re allowed to do that, and accept no judgement.

You’ve always had the gift of empathy and the willingness to understand. You’ve used them to improve your mental health and encourage others. You share your life, allowing space for individuals who need it. You remain humble and grateful.

Sometimes, you’ll feel exhausted and over stimulated. Never, though, are you undeserving to be somewhere.. To take space for you when all the space is a social and optional setting.

When life seems too much, seek within yourself, the love you effortlessly give others. You’re an incredible human being. You are a champion, a warrior, leader, full of goodness and beauty this world needs.

Listen sweet lady, you’re allowed to feel what you do. Your voice matters. You matter. You’re in no need of permission to speak, or speak up. You don’t need approval to be who and as you are…

Today, I’m here to give you love and support. To praise you for your efforts. I’m here to recognize your strengths, and accomplishments.. Today, you should be good to yourself.. Because you feel A LOT.. and you do A LOT.. for all that & those around you.

I’m proud of you. You’re a good person. You deserve self recognition and positive energy.

Continue being one hella badass Ms.

There’s no one else in this life, who can fill your shoes.

With truest love & grace,

Me

– 11/1/21