Entry May 20th

Dear Sweet Lady,

Being triggered is ok. It’s not anything of which you should be ashamed. What happened was a result of quick judgement and poor communication on both their parts.

Her gaslighting, you “need more attention than Caitlin and I can give you.” stems from issues within herself.

Early on, you noticed she ran the show. She was in constant control of any and all conversation. There was no swaying off course…zero redirecting OF ANY KIND… BY ANYONE. It wasn’t going to happen. You noticed the constant chaos and consistent focus on that chaos. It was mentally draining!

In the madness, you believe in finding the silver-lining. You always have! You find the good. You always have. Regardless of what mental health issues you have, you’ve always had the strength to hold on to Faith! That’s the energy of your aura. That’s the type of energy that serves you and your greater good. That was not what you were experiencing in that group… talking to them.

I’m proud of you for stepping up for yourself on her live. Passive aggression is unnecessary when two grown adults can simply talk stuff out. Regardless of you take everything personally, you’re capable of understanding alternative perspectives, acknowledging thoughts/feelings, and communicating to a solution.

I’m so sorry you were triggered. I know you panicked, immediately transforming into flight mode… looking for safe shelter. It’s your coping mechanism you’ve practiced since you were eight.

Sweet precious younger Brandy, your home and entire apartment IS your safe space. There’s influences at every angle; but, you’re stronger than your fear. Just yesterday, rather than sitting in a mind-swirl baked in anger, you grabbed ahold of something absolute… SHE WAS GASLIGHTING YOU.

There will always be broken people. There will be moments when you freak out and flee.. Your emotions are SOOOO big. They’re valid and your’s to feel. No one can tell you differently. No one can tell you anything about them, and it be factual. They are yours. They are yours to do with as you wish.

If someone gets upset with you, it’s a high possibility they are misunderstanding and don’t care to believe differently. You’re not too much. You don’t require huge amount of time. You don’t get “butt-hurt”… but, you also don’t feel a group is a leader and all her minions, even in that case, mingling should happen. Conversation about something besides people’s trauma should be had in a group.. especially if it’s not like work or professional therapy.

Take care of your heart ♥️ It’s big and beautiful! Your sensitivity doesn’t make you “too much”. You’re perfectly crafted the way God made you.

I love you!

Me

Music Therapy:

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Entry May 18th

Hello Sweet Lady,

I had to take a minute and capture this “W”! It’s a big one; and, each is worthy of celebration.

These past few days have been mentally depleting. You’ve struggled with vehicle repairs since last October.

When you woke up this morning, I KNOW how badly you wanted to quit. Quit pushing forward. Quit making calls. Quit talking to people. Quit trying to find answers and gain some ground. I felt every bit of your anxiety and exhaustion… I know you just wanted today to be self care for your mental health.

You didn’t, though. You made one more plan. You answered one more message. You made one more trip. You rescheduled your therapy session. You kept going because you’re stronger than your anxiety.

I’m so proud of you, baby girl!! You did amazing today. Not just with the car situation, but with other things as well. Today was productive. Today you won.

Congratulations 🎉🎊 ,

Love,

Me

Music Therapy:

Mother’s Love

Love is all that is.

Love is all that matters.

Love sustains life.

Love suffers then wins.

Love never stops.

Love doesn’t know how.

Love is nothing short of a lifeline.

A past life, a light house…

And it all began with a momma.

My family is an extension of all sorts. One truth that resides in all of us… We sure did love our mommas.

Happy Mother’s Day to Mommas of all kinds!

With love and light:

Brandy Ranea

Entry May 9

1:43

Quote

I must practice quieting my voice so I can hear others. More than likely, a person is saying so much more, …without saying a word. Be mindful of the noise and distractions.

– Brandy
@ Solstice Steps Lakewood, OH

Music Therapy:

This song reminds me, too. If I’m to speak anything in this life, may it bring life into a person, place, or situation.

Worthy of Love & Light –

Brandy

A Bit Unexpected

4:23

Short note: quick thought….

I’m not sure what to think about finding KY jelly on the grounds of a cemetery. 🥹🥹🥹

It feels soooo wrong!! Is it; though, if it’s not by my doing??

Welllllll…….

😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

Not my place to judge… but, I empathize for the deceased.

Worthy of Love and Light,

Brandy

Entry May 3rd

I am not meant to reach my final version of myself.

– Brandy

This doesn’t seem to be right; but, it is.

I am always a student. I need to seek, grow, learn, mature, and evolve.

Growing, in any and all ways, is apart of my journey.

In this process, I must remember to be open to my mistakes and forgiveness.

Worthy of Love and Light,

Brandy

Music Therapy:

May Awareness Days

It’s a new month and new awareness days. Listed are just a few, you can find a complete list online.

Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month

Deaf Awareness Week 1st-7th

Clean Air Month

ALS Awareness Month

Arthritis Awareness Month

Bladder Cancer Awareness Month

Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month

Jewish American Awareness Month

Lupus Awareness Month

Mental Health Awareness Month

Melinda

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Entry May 1st

2:58pm

Two thoughts:

*No one should EVER go through such trauma that he/she/they end(s) up in therapy, because a person/people wouldn’t go him/her/themselves!

* The way in which people in my life interpret what I say, especially regarding sensitive matters, is their choice. I don’t deliberately set out to inflict pain.

Worthy of Love and Light,

Me

Music Therapy:

A.R. –

I always felt recovery was a good thing. I feel every addict is lucky to have the chance to utilize the resource. Apart of this process, you had to go through the 12 Steps program.

At the time you and I spoke, personally, you weren’t in any mental health to cut me out of your life. I had my own thoughts about the program; but, never did I wish you to remain addicted.

I was cut out with no regard to any second of our friendship. I valued and loved you. I supported you. I’m not saying I did no wrong and feel entitled to your life. I just can’t understand what was it that resulted in how quickly you forgot me..


J.S.

You’re a trigger. You’ve been a trigger for a long time. It’s me and my life messed up because you wouldn’t just deal with your crap.. and go to therapy.

I’m astonished by your nonchalant attitude about what you did. I’m angry I let it happen twice.

You are not my friend. I don’t want you in my safe space.