Reblog😂😂Wishing For One-Liners

Wishing For One-Liners


  1. I complained to my psychiatrist that nobody listens to me….
    ….He said, “Next.”
  2. I’m on the rotation diet….
    ….Every time I turn around I eat.
  3. My date last night wanted to go someplace expensive….
    ….so I took her to a gas station.
  4. The first thing I notice when someone approaches me….
    ….The audacity.
  5. I do whatever the voices….
    ….in my wife’s head tell me to.



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