This year has seen it’s share of some significant highs. They make me proud. They inspire me to keep pushing myself, striving to be just a little better than the year before.
Likewise, this year, I’ve experienced some unthinkable lows. I’m not sure how I’ve survived it, thus far.
In all the years that I’ve blamed my “parents” for neglecting me a childhood to build relational bonds, not once did I consider something.
To every single person of which you give a piece of yourself, eventually, there will be a great loss. Now, due to my hyperactive neurotransmitters, everything is felt in greater proportion. Another point I need to mention, when I say “ a piece of yourself.” I mean nothing less than genuinely invested authenticity.
It’s the authentic investment of myself into this person, that’s put me in a real struggle. I have NEVER been in this head space. I’ve never been in the grip of a whirlwind sickness like this, before.
This past 4 months has created emotions in my soul that scares me. The depth of sadness. The strength of my anger. The questioning of my worth and value. The consistent years of consistent tears, that just ended up voided.
I’m still working through it. I’m now, writing in a reflection journal. I’m dumping all my thoughts in the morning. I’m writing intentions, attempting to motivate myself to accomplish something. I’m taking deliberate steps to focus on better/happier things. I have to do this.. I am on an app that speaks specifically to aspects of my mental health.
So here’s to me… And here’s to you.
We’re all going through something.
We just don’t walk this alone.
Thank you for stopping by 💚
With Love and Light,