Eight Years in a Single Blink

Taken December 2013

Dave is a subject of frequent conversation here at my house. His daughter, my Zivah, deserves to know the details of her wonderful dad. I wish she remembered more. I wish he would have stayed alive. It was she, who lives with the greatest loss.

The “S” word is nearly taboo. It shouldn’t be; though, because it’s undeniably real. Social media frowns upon the use of the word. The government literally destroys all that the mind tries to shield against it.

Regardless, this loss leaves many individuals with this tremendous grief. This type of grief is called Disenfranchised Grief. In The Mind’s Journal, it is defined as

Disenfranchised grief is the term first coined by Dr. Kenneth Doka in the 1980s. The grief and loss expert defined the term in his book Disenfranchised grief: recognizing hidden sorrow as “the grief that persons experience when they incur a loss that is not or cannot be openly acknowledged, publicly mourned, or socially supported.”

The Mind’s Journal

Personally, I hadn’t ever heard of such a term. Similarly, I wasn’t aware of any circumstances that are classified as such. If you’re interested, here are a few sites that will be insightful.

  1. The Mind’s Journal
  2. WebMD
  3. The StepMom Project
  4. Not So Mommy
  5. Choosing Therapy

It might even sound like this!

Always remember, what you feel is valid. It’s your reality. No one can make it less anything, for you. No one can fix any of it for you.

You work through it, by means of therapy, meditation, exercise, and acceptance should come.

Be gentle with yourself.

It’s been a lengthy process, for me.

I am expecting it to last forever.

With Love and Light,


7 thoughts on “Eight Years in a Single Blink

  1. Big hugs to you and Zivah. David made quite a positive impression on me. He was a sweetheart and I’m so sad and sorry that he decided to leave. ❤

    Liked by 1 person


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