Ship Goals đź’™

Life

I can’t begin to emphasize the value of this simple phrase. Every single relationship needs this in order to grow!

Unfortunately, so many of us don’t have it!! If you are anything like me, you’ve delt with this frustrating lack of acknowledgement.

What do I mean? How is acknowledgment involved in the confrontation process? I would express my thoughts; and, it would fall on deaf ears. They might have heard me…;but, their minds were busy planning their defense. They were formulating their version of what happened.. righteously, justifying how their behavior wasn’t wrong.. They were doing everything but LISTENING TO me.

Is it their fault? YES…. HOWEVER, Here’s my thoughts! When one feels a need to defend him/herself, it’s due to behavior stemmed from ridicule as a child. They received little to no acknowledgement of their thoughts and opinions from the adults in their lives. They grew up without acceptance. They didn’t have conversations where they felt heard. They might not even understand that all of this is ” a thing”.. An important component to maturity and adulthood.

Sadly, that vicious cycle continues as long as we let it.

Today, I’m going to try and brake that chain.

FIRST: Your feelings matter.

AND {here’s the tough part} the thoughts, ideas, and opinions of those in your life.. matter too. Regardless of how YOU feel about THEIRS, they are valid.. And they are real to them.

So what is the answer? Maybe give this a try.

The first step to reconciliation is actively listen.

1. Repeat what you heard the other person say.

Then,

2. Verbalize that you acknowledge and hear what he/she has said.

3. Then, decide on a resolution that works for the both of you.

Respect.. Communication.. Acknowledgement… Acceptance… These elements develope through healthy childhoods. They develop through practice. patience… And love…You’d also be surprised with how quickly a situation diffuses once someone feels heard.

I can tell you, it took me a great deal of my adult life to feel comfortable with confrontation. I would always run (literally!!) from it… Every day is a chance to do better. Every second is a choice to be better.

So when someone tells you how they feel, listen, accept, and acknowledge it. It’s real to him or her. Respect that.. And try to find a solution so it doesn’t keep happening.

Here’s to a healthier year 🙂

7 thoughts on “Ship Goals đź’™

  1. I actually sent it to him the day after and he seemed to understand. Let’s hope it actually helped. I also believe in working on myself as a means to generally ease or reduce conflict. Unfortunately, like you mentioned it requires both parties for this to work. Thanks again for your post and encouragement!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I had an argument with my partner last night regarding this. After 2 hrs, I still couldn’t make him see my point. I wish I had seen this yesterday, it might have saved me a lot of trouble lol. Thanks for the post!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I always believe if I work on myself, it’ll influence everything and everyone I encounter. Also, I think this works best if both or all parties are willing to conduct themselves in this way. The level of maturity makes a huge difference in whether or not you reach a resolution. Good luck! I’m not a therapist by any means; but, I’m here if you’d like to talk.

      Liked by 1 person

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