Posted in LGTBQA+, Writing

Pre-Pride Disclaimer

So, June is Pride Month! Speaking for myself, my sexuality is and always has been “not straight”! It doesn’t matter which it is, that’s not anyone’s business but mine.

Humans feel this need to judge what we don’t understand. (Oddly, the government is the least we judge but rather trust, and we don’t understand… Topic for another day.) My blog is a “safe place.” It’s for everyone. There won’t be any passive aggressive shit or fighting going on.

I am proud of who I am. I have been this way since I was born. I didn’t wake up one day, or expierence something (some idiotic theory’s going around that the majority of homosexuals have been sexually assaulted or abused, which caused a transformation.) that just “turned me” this way.

To all of you who question that, let me say this… it’s OUR life… our reality!! We had to accept this socially unacceptable life… as our truth. We had to step out knowingly how rejected and condemned we’ll be, and begin to live our true selves. If you think we CHOSE this life, as difficult as it is, then you really don’t understand.

My profile will support MY IDENTITY during pride month. If you don’t feel mature enough to “appreciate our differences” , then I invite you to unfollow me now.

Posted in Writing

Special Friday Follow

Pimp Text -

🎼 Ms. Lisa Mona 🎼

She’s only recently started following me; but, her blog radiates positivity, creativity, curiosity, and genuinely personality! Everyone, please take a minute and drop a comment and/or visit her page ⭐️ Seems, according to her blog history, she’s fairly new here on WordPress.

Posted in Mental Health, Writing

My Mental Health Journey 15: Remembering Dave

Tomorrow is the last day of Mental Health Awareness Month. My hopes is that, despite the end calendar time frame, we’d all continue bring awareness to this life changing and ever growing illness. My hope is that we’d continue to encourage, support, and check on one another.. Simply because we can.

On this last day of May, I wanted to write about the man who made suicide very real to me. I want to write about him because he was human… And he had some amazing qualities. I love him, and he deserves to be remembered.

Dave was born in January of 1978, birthday two days after our daughter’s. He was half black and white… But, to friends, he was teased about looking Hispanic. He was the second born, had an older brother, younger brother and sister.

I was born in 1985; therefore, I was several grades below him in school. There was enough years between us where I really didn’t see him much. His family didn’t have much. Dave was always working a second or third job for what he and his family needed. At a very young age, he began caring for someone else… And in the process, he stopped caring about himself. Taking care of others became his life, his identity… That’s where the mistake happened.

Fast forward a few fifteen years later, I had left my first husband for a woman I was madly in love with! It was the first time I pursued such feelings; and, I was crazy about her. Less then four months later, she pushed me out the door. She wasn’t good enough for me stuff was what she used for reasoning. Few years later, Deja vue. I’m married and have my daughter… She tells me she had cancer and six months to live.

When you’re trapped between a rock and a hard place, no decision seems right… Because someone gets hurt. I was content with my life, for the most part. I didn’t want her to pass away and have regrets. I chewed at this idea for three months!! I loved Dave… I was still in love with her.

Dave’s emotional state began to fall ill. He wasn’t eating much. He was having racist issues and false accusations issues at work. His liver was also beginning to fail. He was rough and jaundice. He started picking up on natural signs of me being in love with her, though, of course it wasn’t my intention to do so. Once, when I thought things between she and I weren’t going to work, he said he was about to take a handful of pills (Benadryl was really all we had that could cause major damage.)

July came, and she and I signed the lease for our apartment. Little did I know, Dave was making life thereafter arrangements. I question my character sometimes, if I should have done more… if I should have stayed… if I should have called one of his friends.

The cops showed up at my house, just within an hour of me putting all the pieces together. I was frozen almost, unable to do anything… almost paralyzed. Most people go into extreme hysteria in a situation like this… wailing and rushing to arms… collapsing or passing out… nope… I was as if just told he got a speeding ticket. My 18 month old needed me to keep my shit together. In the days to follow, Dave’s brother and friends blamed me. I was dubbed a “psycho murderer”… but everyone looks for someone to blame.

Despite his tragic passing, he was a great man. He worked hard! He loves old cars, Rolls Royce and those huge Station Wagons. He loved the Mountaineers, NCIS (Zivah Da(veed) (⬅️ pronunciation) was a main character. We named our daughter after her.), and beer. He was super giving, and the first to lend a helping hand. He loved his hometown, Bradford, PA.. And wanted to move back there. He wanted to be an Aviation pilot. He absolutely loved country music, spaghetti sauce made with green peppers, and fishing. He was so smart about nature and wildlife. There was so much I loved about him… And our Zivah added so much to our lives.

I get angry about his death because I hurt. He was a great guy. Provided what he could, worked so hard, never stopped trying to improve life for us.

I’ll always miss my friend.

Posted in Life, Writing

Thursday Thoughts

Thankful Thursday List:

  1. Flowers
  2. Rain
  3. Coffee
  4. Blogging
  5. Incense
  6. Music
  7. Laughter
  8. Chocolate
  9. Hot water
  10. Baby wipes

Sending a special shoutout to my latest personal blog followers<3 I have some new business blog followers, as well.

  1. Shain Writer
  2. John Acex Poetry
  3. Life with the Breeze
  4. Carmen
  5. @davidbredpath061117
  6. Wine and Spirits
  7. Steven Plummer
  8. Nindakishore
  9. Magellanic
  10. Gareth Roberts
  11. Happy Tonic
  12. LiDea
  13. @gracesmithluv772
  14. Amanda Greenwood Group
  15. Peculiar
  16. Rhack Writes
Posted in Challenge, Life, Writing

3-2-1 Quote Me Challenge: Happiness

Fandango, over at This, That, and the Other, tagged me to participate in this round of 3-2-1 Quote Me, about Happiness.

“Stop comparing yourself to other people, just choose to be happy and live your own life.” 
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“Happiness. It was the place where passion, with all its dazzle and drumbeat, met something softer: homecoming and safety and pure sunbeam comfort. It was all those things, intertwined with the heat and the thrill, and it was as bright within her as a swallowed star.” 
― Laini Taylor, Daughter of Smoke & Bone

Posted in Writing

Feet, big feet

I found The BFG’s shoes. As long as I don’t come across his wretched toenails, I’ll be happy 😂😂😂.

Photo courtesy of Pinterest
Posted in healing, Life, men, Mental Health, positivity, Writing

The Dawn has Come

I’ve been through some crap. I’m hella certainly not going to devalue it, for ANY reasons!

Testing my sanity, yesterday was an emotional war!!

But, I wept.. and the morning came!

In 9 days, 18 families lost loved ones to an evil addiction.

Morning didn’t come for those 18 overdose victims. Mourning came to the brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers.

You see, this is my “time of healing” and ” silver lining ” that I knew was coming!

No it’s NOT the death of human life… it’s the LIFE of MY LOVED ONES 🧡💚 God KNOWS my Boyfriend’s son makes me nuts, but he’s important to me! My boyfriend can drive me crazy. My girls push my buttons… But you know what, none of them are out fighting such a monstrous evil!

When you WANT to see POSITIVE and HEALING… When that’s your intention, you WILL 💖

8 Overdose Deaths Over Memorial Day Weekend – Cleveland, OH – At least 18 overdose deaths have occurred since May 20, according to the Cuyahoga County Medical Examiner’s Office.
— Read on