My Mental Health Journey 8

I’ve endure child abuse. I’ve been urged to kill myself. I’ve lived with severe depression and major panic attacks. I’ve been married and divorced, and married again… I’ve endured my second husband’s suicide… And the whole community dubbing me ” psycho murderer”… I’ve had two girls, both over 9lbs, and HPV during my second pregnancy. I’ve been wrongfully robbed of 95% of my possessions, and traveled across the country with a full blown narsassist. I’ve endured roadside stranded, vehicle towed, and so much more…

And I’ve been strong through it. I’ve felt capable in my solitude to handle the situation…

With this recent event, I’m struggling. These emotions of fear and deep sadness might be apart of what he’s feeling… I don’t know. I just know I can’t seem to feel comfort… As badly as I want to. My boyfriend’s son is at the hospital with him. He’s the closest to my bf I can be right now… And he’s not sentimental… He probably doesn’t give much care about what I’m feeling right now… And to an extent, I can understand that.

I just wish I had someone who’d come see me and have coffee. Someone who could give me an in person hug, and reassure me he’s going to wake up. I’ve watched entirely toooooo many medical shows where my brain is trying to say “He could sleep for weeks, even months.”! Someone please tell my irrational fears to quiet.

Guh, I’m exhausted. In the meantime, my vehicle sits unmoved… Till this weekend, when I could pay to do anything with it. My girls are constantly tatling on one another. Everything is ” that’s mineeeeee!!!!!”… Or my toddler throwing it over the side of our porch.

Life is going to get easier, but im ready for that time to be now. I saw another trilogy of 4s tonight. It’s odd how virtually normal they are to me. It made me smile.

Anyway, I’m tired. Today’s day one of this craziness. Day 3 for the bf unconscious from brain swelling.

I’m never struggled with faith… But, we’re not meant to do life alone… So, I’m going to need you guys.

If you’d like to send me anything that’s funny or a quick hello or funny meme…. Whatever the case, my email is

Good night ๐ŸŒบ Good Morning to you East of the US and Good Afternoon to you on the West Coast!


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โ€œShe made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible. She walked with the Universe on her shoulders and made it look like a pair of wings.โ€ -Ariana Dancu

21 thoughts on “My Mental Health Journey 8”

  1. Sending a huge, warm virtual hug and sending up a prayer for you, that comfort, courage and serenity will embrace you. I know there are times when it just seems to be too much, but take a deep breath, and review all the warm thoughts and wishes expressed here, and know that you are loved. Life isn’t always easy, but it is always easier with the love of friends.

    Liked by 1 person


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